jump to navigation

The Beginning January 6, 2009

Posted by billynorton in Uncategorized.
Tags: , ,
add a comment

Go to the Beginning page to start from the beginning of my story

Advertisements

The Big One February 6, 2009

Posted by billynorton in Bad Habits.
Tags: , , ,
add a comment
thebig one

You Could Scare Your Girlfriend With This!

Just the name should alone, should have been a warning, “The Big One”. It is 7 inches long and a staggering 56 ring gage. Really but why would I expect a cigar (that is so comically large it could be used by anti-tobacco fascists to beat smokers to death) to be anything less than a big pile of smoldering cow dung.

There is not a self-respecting cigar maker, outside of the USA, that would have the gall to make this cigar. Given it had an after taste of burning latex and KY jelly, I can only assume this black monster was actually made by a dildo manufacturing company trying to diversify.

Besides the asinine name, it looked good .It had dark oily wrapper and smooth construction. I had high hopes when I went to light it. It did not so much as light, but it took four matches to get it to start melting like plastic. It smelled like, what I imagine the Dow chemical plant explosion in India, smelled like in the 80s.

shit I was banished from Dave’s car for smoking the putrid phallic anomaly that made the eyes water and children cry.

A ragged homeless man came by looking for change and cigarettes. I gave him 50 cents and asked him to dispose of this toxic log safely. I guess I should feel guilty for letting the most vulnerable in society smoke this to feed there addiction but I doubt it is any worse for him than the Lysol and Shoe polish cocktail that he had for breakfast.

I just hope he doesn’t use it to rob a liquor store or rape innocent school girls.

Barack Aint Black February 6, 2009

Posted by billynorton in Ranting and Rolling.
add a comment

He has been trumpeted as the Great Barack_Obama_portrait_2005Black hope; The First Black president; and A symbol of a changing America.

Sure, his father was Kenyan but Barack Obama’s Mother was white.

Black History Month teaches us that Black is as much about shared culture,  history and struggle as it is about the color of skin. Well, his White Grandmother raised him in Hawaii.

He has no familial connection to the slaves, forcibly brought to America in the 1600’s. His familial roots are closer to that of retired white people playing shuffleboard in Hawaii.

Barrack Obama is not the first black president from Chicago. He is the first white president from Hawaii

Now I will concede he is not as white as my bare ass but he aint as black MLK

Barack Obama is not a ghetto as Black America likes to think he is